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1. dress appropriately
we adorn ourselves with
"velvet" and "silk" (polyester).
try to catch the eyes of onlookers
as we stand, stranded at our
street corner islands,

pulling up our skirts—
unsure if we are
bringing evil in, or
letting it out.

2. make it natural
forget that it isn’t.
put on a show and let those lies
slip from your lips in bated breath
and your lungs heaving in the chest.

3. be prepared
I don’t leave the house
without my pocket knife,
it comes in handy
when you want to be set free

from this sort of lifestyle.
I've completely re-edited this, I think this is the final version, but who knows. 
it's definitely more...prostitute-y....
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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-01-15
small talk by adeline-renee is, as the suggester says, "breathtaking in its brevity, [with a] final stanza that will leave you raw." ( Suggested by camelopardalisinblue and Featured by DorianHarper )
:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is just fantastic. And then that last stanza is just such a punch in the gut. Perfectly done. I can absolutely see why this got a DD!
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:iconadeline-renee:
adeline-renee Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Student Writer
oh, thanks so much!
Reply
:iconherebewonder:
herebewonder Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Just stumbled across this and had to say I think it's very well done.

I can picture the scene and the kind of girl thinking this.

Excellent!

-c
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:iconvixendra:
VixenDra Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
"when you want to be set free

from this sort of lifestyle."

because this sort of lifestyle is indeed a prizon... in hell.
Reply
:iconshep4life:
shep4life Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
pulling up our skirts—
unsure if we are 
bringing evil in, or 
letting it out. 

Best stanza
Reply
:iconriftress:
Riftress Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Well, this was very boldly written, I love it! o_o
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:iconadeline-renee:
adeline-renee Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Student Writer
haha, yeah... thanks! :heart:
Reply
:iconchamaguchi:
Chamaguchi Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014
Wow, this was beautiful. Such beautiful writing. Well-deserved DD. <3
Reply
:iconadeline-renee:
adeline-renee Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Student Writer
thank you thank you thank you!! :heart:
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the DD! :dalove:
Have a nice day! :party:
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:iconadeline-renee:
adeline-renee Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Student Writer
thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
My pleasure! :love: by CookiemagiK
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:iconshadowedacolyte:
ShadowedAcolyte Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014
There's a nice pattern to this, like the sway of tired hips. Thanks for sharing.
Reply
:iconweirdandlovely:
WeirdAndLovely Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
It's very prostitute-y, but I like it.  It compasses the emotion I think people try to forget when they think of such people.
Reply
:iconadeline-renee:
adeline-renee Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Student Writer
thanks so much :heart: it was one of my harder poems to write, it took me a looonnnngggg time to figure out what i wanted to say with it and how to do that. 
Reply
:iconweirdandlovely:
WeirdAndLovely Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:nod:  Sounds like me with my poem, The Necklace.  I wanted to get what I was writing exactly right, so it took me a few days (usually I write my poems in less than 20 minutes) to get the final product.
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:iconadeline-renee:
adeline-renee Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2014  Student Writer
Typically it takes me 20 minutes too to write the initial first draft of the poem. Sometimes this is close to the final draft sometimes it isn't. For poems that don't end up need to be edited much I go back to this first draft several times in the next few hours and day until I have what I want. Poems that need to be edited more, I tend to leave alone for a while and will work on them randomly for the next few weeks and sometimes months in little poetry sessions. But I don't force myself to work on them.
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:iconweirdandlovely:
WeirdAndLovely Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Very interesting.  Similarly, I don't force myself to write in the first place.  I usually edit within my poem, as I'm writing it and so when those 20 minutes or so are up, that's the final draft of my poem.  I draw on raw emotion so I don't like to change a poem after that emotion's left me.  Does that make sense?
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:iconadeline-renee:
adeline-renee Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2014  Student Writer
yeah that definitely works best for really personal poems that delve more into the emotion. so completely makes sense to me. i used to do poems like that a lot, but i think my style has definitely changed to focusing more on humanity or the world as a whole. i just can't really write about my life for whatever reason. i typically write the first draft before figuring out what i want to say and then edit towards whatever message or idea i've decided to encompass within my poem. 
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:iconweirdandlovely:
WeirdAndLovely Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
That really makes sense, just like writing emotionally.  You want to be careful to make sure what you're saying is what you mean to say.  I understand not being able to write about you life.  I can't write about grief, no matter how much I may want to.
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:iconadeline-renee:
adeline-renee Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014  Student Writer
i think the problem for me is that i can't write specifically about myself. i can write about grief in that i write about mortality and immortality. but i can't write solely about my grandpa dying or what it's like to live with a chronic illness. i have in fact written about these things, but my favorite poems of mine and i think the one's that work the best are the one's that boil these feelings and thoughts that are so human and so complex and hard, into a question or an idea/philosophy. it's a lot easier for me to view things broadly, to say: "this is how society works" or "this is basic humanity". i can't do the specifics because they are too specific, they're heartbreaking because they're mine and it wouldn't make much sense to anyone when they don't know everything that i know or feel. 

oh god. did that even make sense? probably not. sorry.
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(1 Reply)
:iconchancerox:
chancerox Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
pulling up our skirts—
unsure if we are
bringing evil in, or
letting it out.
---
ohhh my. :heart:
Reply
:iconundomiel321:
Undomiel321 Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I love the polyester in parentheses. I work in retail, so it has a special ironic humor in it for me. =)
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